Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than
       it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
 George Bernard Shaw

 Do you know what a pessimist is? A person who thinks everybody
       is as nasty as himself and hates them for it
 George Bernard Shaw

 Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have
       made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice
       a week.
 George Bernard Shaw

 It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
 George Bernard Shaw

 She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately,
       the power of speech.
 George Bernard Shaw

 Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to
       all others because you were born in it.
 George Bernard Shaw

 The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more
       to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober
       one.
 George Bernard Shaw

 People always get tired of one another.  I grow tired of myself
       whenever I am left alone for ten minutes, and I am certain that I am
       fonder of myself than anyone else can be of another person.
 George Bernard Shaw

 Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no
       better than we deserve.
 George Bernard Shaw

 It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should
       be privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste,
       to corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's
       uncles.
 George Bernard Shaw

 When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he
       always declares that it is his duty.
 George Bernard Shaw
Reference: Caesar and Cleopatra, III

 You daren't handle high explosives; but you're all ready to handle
       honesty and truth and justice and the whole duty of man, and kill
       one another at that game. What a country!  What a world!
 George Bernard Shaw
Reference: Major Barbara, 1907

 Any person under the age of thirty, who, having any knowledge
       of the existing social order, is not a revolutionist, is an inferior
 George Bernard Shaw

The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone:
the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule
can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage.
As it is, the political problem remains unsolved.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
Liberty means responsibility.  That is why most men dread it.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into
superstition, and art into pedantry.  Hence University education.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
Science is always simple and always profound. 
It is only the half-truths that are dangerous.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane,
most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear
that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition
continuously until death do them part.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable
must Man be of learning from experience.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an
international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
There are two tragedies in life.  One is to lose your heart's desire.
The other is to gain it. 
        GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only
a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
         GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed,
but that he cannot believe anyone else.
         GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
 
Power does not corrupt man; fools, however, if they get into a position of
power, corrupt power.
         GEORGE BERNARD SHAW