Monologue from a Tower

Part I:Cloudy Night

The clouds hung low over Oxhill as Moskva and Alonzo walked through the portal and into Glantri city. For a moment Jan thought about following them through, but then decided against it. Instead he strode over to his desk and sat down. The first book he pulled in front of him was a large tome dealing with spell defence and like matters, but after a few moments he pushed it away; he was not in the mood for such things this evening. The second book he moved in front of him was bound in red leather and mainly filled with blank pages. Jan whispered a word under his breath before opening it and he then flicked quickly through to the end of the last entry. He smiled down at the thoughts he recorded on the day he became a Baron and then turned over the page, today's thoughts were not happy. He then picked up a pen, slowly dipped it into an inkwell and began to write...


Moskva and that cowardly Elf are gone. Alonzo de la Mancha, the noble warrior, the graduate of the Great School of Magic, a man with no honour, no concept of loyalty. He called the army... he rode up to my gates with two hundred men and he forced me to send those people to their deaths... forced me to allow the interference of a prince into the affairs of my lands... forced me to break my word... forced me to hate him. He should have ridden away, he should have told Aendyr to sort out the problem himself, to send the army himself, not to use some catspaw, not to get at me through someone I once considered a friend. But Alonzo bent and crumpled, he mutely obeyed that bastard in Glantri and formed up his troops, he marched to my gates and... ah, how often will I repeat this? The deed is done, the dagger has struck, there is nothing that can be done now. Then again, that has never stopped me before.

I offered those people protection, but could I actually give it to them? The Master of Hule was quite ready to attack and Glantri could not have stood up to him. Another war would have started, a war we could not hope to win. That was one of the factors. In addition I would have been branded, unfairly, a traitor, especially if I had destroyed the army banner that Alonzo would have led against me. Ultimately I would have been taken back to Glantri, stripped of my title and imprisoned, something I could really do without. It would have been a situation that I could have recovered from, eventually, but my plans, my hopes and my dreams would have suffered immensely. I suppose some might say that I should not have offered sanctuary in the first place, but, I did, that is all there is to it. This is what Alonzo cannot understand, it is the strength of will, the ability to say, I have done this, therefore it is done. The ability to stop questioning yourself, to step into the Abyss because you know you will survive, because you know you will be able to step out again, to gain from the experience, to live. It would seem that Alonzo would rather not risk a thing, increase his power and strength tiny piece by tiny piece, gain a little there and never risk it, hide behind those bigger than him, avoid danger, live slowly, live quietly, he may as well be dead.

The war would not have been good, I can see that, even if Alonzo does not think I can, but it could have been avoided in another way. Alonzo did not have to be the one to command the army, he could have stood aside, he could have let someone else do the deed, he could have shown his loyalty, in recognition of what had gone before, he did not. Ah, now I am going around in circles, yet my point is still the same. Yes, I took an oath to protect Glantri, starting a war with Hule would have violated that oath, so in the end sending the refugees home was the only solution, but why did Alonzo have to force me to do it with the army, why could it not have been some little flunky, or is that all the Elf has become? Maybe there is no-one lower in the army, maybe he is the creature the princes use when they want someone to do something which even they would not do, maybe he is their familiar, their little demon or perhaps their trained dog? Moskva would not have done what he did and she, in law, is lower down the scale of things than he. She might have agreed with stopping the probable war, which is something that I agree with too, but she would not have led an army against me, at least not if there was someone else who could have done it.

So, this leaves only one other question, would I have fought Hule for the refugees if the army had not been here? In the end I must say that I do not think I would have. In the end the risk was just too huge, the stakes too high. My oath to Glantri comes first, I cannot be a Baron if I do not believe that. I wished to save those people, and it would have come very, very close, but now, thinking on it, I would have had to hand them over. Hule is not a problem I can deal with now. Later, maybe sooner, but not with Alphatia at war, not with the army destroyed, not with so many nobles dead, it is not a good time to fight, it is never a good time to die. If Alonzo read this he would probably think me hypocritical, but I am not, I still say he is a coward, a weakling, even if he did stand up to me, he bent to a bastard. Anyway, that episode is now over, that situation, well, the situation in Hule is over for the moment. The situation with Alonzo is not, he is no longer someone I wish to be around, he has proven himself to be disloyal to those he has nearly died with. However there is too much to do, too many things happening to worry about one Elf. I do not wish him ill, I do not wish him anything, he is not my friend, he is not my enemy, he simply does not exist in my world.

Now, the night is growing on and rambling like this will not produce spells to defeat Alphatia. Again I say, the deed is done and the refugees are gone. It is a pity, it is for the best, I can see that, I know that. One day Hule will pay for making me break my word, it is a debt that the Master will wish he had never incurred. For the now that has to wait, other problems are closer, other problems can be handled now, so I go to handle them.

Jan laid the pen on the desk and slowly closed the book, he pushed it away and once again took up the magical tome. He opened the first page and began to read, it was going to be a long night.