From: mplunny@vax1.tcd.ie
Went out to party to pick up white trash for chat, torture and dismemberment.
She was an easy pickup but tragically she was black so I decided to keep it to
just chat and torture. After I fooled the poor girl into thinking I was in the
boat club she agreed to come back to my rooms for a discussion on neo Platonism.
The poor jezebel thought she could decide what philosophical school we were
going to talk about, I was going to show her I was no easy conversationalist,
just like the rest of the darned world. At first I made small talk about the
cyclone in Bangledesh and she seemed to become worried, she got up from the
couch and went to get her jacket. When she couldnt find it she began to
realize something was wrong. It was too late for her, far too late. I gently
gave her a conversational punch.
"Me, I've always been an OS/2 advocate, I mean flat memory addressing, its so
much more efficient"
She looked shocked and tried to escape.
"I'm not that interested in computers." was her ploy.
"So you're a MAC user" I quiped.
She began to verbally bleed. "Pardon?"
I was between her and the door by now, I reached under the table for the copy
of popular computing weekly I kept hidden there.
I began to read, without remorse, without guilt.
"Todays users want a multitasking enviroment that doesnt cramp their style but
yet allows tedious command line input to be cut down to a minimum. QuadWin4 is
just that...."
She realized now she couldn't get away, I saw the blind terror in her eyes.
"Whats the matter Dear, dont you know Information technology shapes all our
lives? You cant escape it. You've got to talk about it...got to"
She babbled incoherently, something about her brother being a Black Belt in
Leeson street customer ejection techniques.
I had seen the fear and incomprehension so many times before in other victims
eyes it no longer thrilled me, the esctasy of overpowering their resevoirs of
TLA's long gone. I only lived now to destroy their will to make normal
conversation.
She finally broke when I mentioned my 14 password login and the fact I had
aliased Ctrl"D" so that nobody could read the Dark secrets I kept hidden in my account.
Slowly she raised her head and said "I once used WordPerfect, when I was young."
Her eyes were red with suppressed tears and I could hear her whimper
occassionally under her breath. I think it was "a soul" that she kept
whispering, how touching. I had so utterly sapped her will she was becoming
religious, another pathethically easy victim to my wild, psychothic and
fascinating nature.
I threw her her jacket and let her leave the rooms.
Afterwards I wrote her name on an apple (a nice touch) and talked to it about
Xenix for an hour or two. After letting my pet hamster nibble it I cut it in
half with my Moulinex VariCarve, getting juice on my jacket. I was so
overpowered by revulsion that that night, I coudnt pet the hamster.
(So I buggered it, and put it in the blender. What ever you say about domestic
pets, they make great Shakes.)